Beauty from Ashes

I have prayed lots for Aiden since everything has happened for several reasons. At first I felt so bad he had to go through the death of a brother and playmate. He didn't necessarily react in a bad way, but as his mother, I felt really bad for him...probably since I was feeling down I thought he would be too. He also has such a sweet personality that desires to be around other people...for example he won't go into our playroom (which is right off of the fam room and kitchen) to play by himself. He would rather be right next to me in the kitchen. He is also fine if he has a friend over...he will play in there. So one thing that drastically changed at first was he stopped going in his playroom to play. He had been playing in there very well ever since Brady was crawling...because as long as Brady was in there Aiden would play in there too. I guess he likes bodies around, they didn't really have to be playing together. So anyway, that was one thing I noticed right off the bat...Aiden missed his playmate.

Another reason I think I prayed so hard for Aiden was that I guess I was worried for his health and safety. For the few weeks and months after Brady's passing, I feel like I put Aiden in a bubble; I didn't want anything to happen to him. I am not typically a worried mother. My kids get sick and I thought I was very capable at home...of course I took them to the Dr. if something else was wrong, but colds, and fevers never worried me until this. I guess considering the circumstances it was understandable to react this way. But I couldn't take my eyes off of Aiden and had to be by his side. I guess I let anxiety set in and I was afraid of losing him too.

And then I was praying that Aiden wouldn't feel the sadness that his parents felt. I was hoping to put on a good face for him so that he would have my best and not feel neglected. It was ok to be sad...but did not want that to take over, and prevent me from becoming a good mother to him. I had so many mixed feelings regarding being the mother to Aiden after everything happened. I wanted the best for him so much, but felt I couldn't give it to him at the time...whether it was a playmate or happy, strong mother.
I thank the Lord for Walker, our little angel, because Aiden is playing in the playroom again...a little! :) I know God is good and in control but that was one of the hardest things to deal with losing Brady, was that Aiden lost his little brother (who was 19 months younger).

I know you all could figure out how I felt after loosing Brady but I wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings that I had regarding Aiden after the fact too.

1 Samuel 1:27, "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."

1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you."