Aiden's 3rd birthday was 3 days after Brady's service. It was a little difficult to be happy with Aiden and still mourn the loss of his brother. But Aiden needed some quality mom and dad time, which was nice to spend with him! Lucas took some time off work, a month, so that we could be together as a family and do a little traveling. Sitting home would be harder we decided...not that either was easy...going to visit family and friends was not easy either, but we decided it was best for us.
We received a few "love" packages in the mail from friends (thank you!) and they included a devotional, "Streams in the Desert," by L.B. Cowman. It was exactly what we needed and I highly recommend this for everyone...even going through daily trials that life brings. Anyway, each day I read, it was exactly what I needed for that day...God is good. One of the devotionals that really impacted me at the time was based on Ecc. 11:3, "If clouds are full of water, they pour rain upon the earth." Doesn't mean much there, but after reading the devo it made more sense to me. Here is one paragraph from that devo:
"How can we have rain without clouds? Our troubles have always brought up blessings, and they always will, for they are the dark chariots of God's bright and glorious grace. Before long the clouds will be emptied, and every tender plant will be happier due to the showers. Our God may drench us with grief, but He will refresh us with His mercy. Our Lord's love letters oftern come to us in dark envelopes...So let us not worry about the clouds. Instead, let us sing because May flowers are brought to us through April clouds and showers."
It was very hard at first, but I am now focusing on what God wants for me out of this circumstance instead of dwelling on the storm itself; that does nobody any good.
I think as a Christian its easy to say that God gives us peace and strength...but until I was in the place when I needed it most...I can truely say He gives us exactly the amount we need! When we need more peace and strength...its given to us! Amen! And I can't believe how much I felt the presence of God with me going through this time of despair. People would ask me, "How are you so strong?" And I can honestly say its only because God gave me TONS of strength!
Psalm 18:32, "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."
Psalm 29:11, "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."
Isaiah 33:2, "O, Lord be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress."
Isaiah 40:31, "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint."
Lucas and I also started talking about what does this mean as far as expanding our family? Was this a genetic trait that would be passed down to furture children? Would we have any of our own children again? God knew all the answers to these questions..and already had a plan.
We found out we were pregnant again...so joy was experienced again..after a period of no joy. We had hope the whole time, but joy was not always there. I felt that God was blessing us for being faithful during hardship. Now the waiting to find out what were having. I thought for sure a girl because then we could pack up all the boy things, and not have to be reminded of the memories. Well the wait began and the prayers continued to flow...we knew the only thing to do was to trust God..he was clearly in control.
We received a few "love" packages in the mail from friends (thank you!) and they included a devotional, "Streams in the Desert," by L.B. Cowman. It was exactly what we needed and I highly recommend this for everyone...even going through daily trials that life brings. Anyway, each day I read, it was exactly what I needed for that day...God is good. One of the devotionals that really impacted me at the time was based on Ecc. 11:3, "If clouds are full of water, they pour rain upon the earth." Doesn't mean much there, but after reading the devo it made more sense to me. Here is one paragraph from that devo:
"How can we have rain without clouds? Our troubles have always brought up blessings, and they always will, for they are the dark chariots of God's bright and glorious grace. Before long the clouds will be emptied, and every tender plant will be happier due to the showers. Our God may drench us with grief, but He will refresh us with His mercy. Our Lord's love letters oftern come to us in dark envelopes...So let us not worry about the clouds. Instead, let us sing because May flowers are brought to us through April clouds and showers."
It was very hard at first, but I am now focusing on what God wants for me out of this circumstance instead of dwelling on the storm itself; that does nobody any good.
I think as a Christian its easy to say that God gives us peace and strength...but until I was in the place when I needed it most...I can truely say He gives us exactly the amount we need! When we need more peace and strength...its given to us! Amen! And I can't believe how much I felt the presence of God with me going through this time of despair. People would ask me, "How are you so strong?" And I can honestly say its only because God gave me TONS of strength!
Psalm 18:32, "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."
Psalm 29:11, "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."
Isaiah 33:2, "O, Lord be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress."
Isaiah 40:31, "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint."
Lucas and I also started talking about what does this mean as far as expanding our family? Was this a genetic trait that would be passed down to furture children? Would we have any of our own children again? God knew all the answers to these questions..and already had a plan.
We found out we were pregnant again...so joy was experienced again..after a period of no joy. We had hope the whole time, but joy was not always there. I felt that God was blessing us for being faithful during hardship. Now the waiting to find out what were having. I thought for sure a girl because then we could pack up all the boy things, and not have to be reminded of the memories. Well the wait began and the prayers continued to flow...we knew the only thing to do was to trust God..he was clearly in control.
Beautiful post Kate. I just heard of a friend of a friend who lost their son so I will pass along to them the suggestion of the Streams in the Dessert book. Thanks again for sharing your heart and letting God work through you. Miss and love ya!!
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