Trials and parenting?

So I know that many people ask the question, " Why do bad things happen to people who love God?" I think I have always thought that it's because we live in a sinful world, and because all things are for God's glory, so if it brings Him glory to go through a trial, then that could be why. But many reasons we may not know until heaven one day.

1 John 2:16,"For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world."

Romans 5:12, "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned— "

Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

But this past week I was thinking about parenting (basically consumes most of my day!). Would any of us not want our children to expereince pain...well silly question, YES! But in a way, no, we want them to experience some disappointment, consequences, etc. because it builds character and helps them grow. I am constantly having to discipline so that my children learn to obey God and others, and become less selfish. So I believe that God does not like to see us hurt, but at the same time He knows that it produces character and growth, and that we wouldn't be the way we are after a trial had we never experienced it. I know in my own life I would not have made the same decisions had we not lost Brady. And I pray that God is glorified through all of life's ups and downs.

Romans 5:2b-5,"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "

The dread of July...

I love summer. I love everything about going to the beach, being outside, spending time with family, friends and my children. But the past 2 years July has not been a good month. In 2008 Brady was in and out of the hospital most of the month and then on the 24th our journey with him ended. Then last year, 2009, I ended up in the emergency room with a migrane and stroke-like symptoms.  I was in the same emergency room that we took Brady to, only a few days prior to the 24th (the anniversary of his passing). It was sureal to me as I walked in, remembering the year before and how it changed our lives forever.  I even ended up in the same CAT scan machine as he was in...which was hard (I turned out fine..it was simply a migrane). Even though it was painful I felt some sort of connection I guess as time was getting farther and farther away. The pain is not as intense, however part of me hates to get farther away from the event because I don't remember it as well, and I want to remember every little detail about Brady, and never forget.  I think I also slip back into some sort of weakened emotional state in July...can that really happen? My body knows when it's July, and I loose control? I just feel the ups and downs of life, that normally don't bother me at all. I get overlly worried about things that normally dont worry me, and I guess part of that is also that Walker is the exact age of Brady when he got sick, but I also think part of that is my body knows the cycle of a year...and perhaps every year at this time it will be a little bittersweet. It also doesn't help when it's rainy...but I know we need the rain.

I think I need a plan for July, so that when it comes around I'm prepared for what's going to happen. Not that I'm trying to ignore what's happening, but maybe purposefully changing my thoughts could help. I think it's altogether part of the grieving process, but the fear that creeps in is not. And I would love to remember him in a happy way and not so much by the trip to the hospital. Maybe going through the book of Isaiah would help during this time...how ironic (or God) that his middle name was Isaiah! The comfort that God gives His people is AMAZING...and I need to take hold of that. He is faithful all the time...for he cannot deny himself.

Psalm 33:4, "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does."

2 Thessalonians 3:3, "But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."

2 Timothy 2:13, "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself."

Hebrews 10:23, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."


I am very thankful however, that we have lots of plans and fun things for this month and the whole summer. That helps time go by quicker and also gives me something to look forward to. Well..its a sunny day today so I feel more hopeful...I'm off to the beach...my little piece of heaven, here on earth. (Isn't it awesome that God calls earth His footstool, compared to heaven...I can't even imagine how sweet it will be up there! Party!)

Wow its been a while since I wrote...just not feeling too inspired lately I guess. But as God gives me things to write...i will.

This weekend, 4th of July, is going to be packed full of fun and family. I can't wait, but also what comes to mind are my sweet pictures of Brady, on his last 4th of July. He was a little older than our Walker is now. That was the weekend before he got sick, and changed our lives forever. So I will always take some sweet time to remember his smile and personality, while enjoying what new memories we make.

I also wanted to give you all update on Walker's last trip to CHOP. We met with the doctors to discuss some questions and he had some blood work done. I must admitt I was a little anxious waiting for the results, but knew that God is faithful no matter what. And also kind of expecting them to be the same as last time, which I was ok with. We got a call and immediately the Dr said, " I have great news!"  You know when a Dr starts out that way, that it IS good news. Even in the past when they have had decent news to share with us they come into it very conservatively. So Walker's blood work was completely NORMAL!! Praise the Lord! He has created antibodies to all his vaccines and his IgG came up to normal levels for a 1 year old! He can come off of the antibiotics. This was a huge answer to prayer and its only because of our Lord. So thank you everyone for the continuous prayers, we have felt them. And I must say going into this weekend, the one where Brady got sick, it is a huge relief to know that Walker is ok. :)

Have a happy 4th everyone!

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."
Psalm 86:15


"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28